Your Truth and My Lies by Tracy May

Author:Tracy May [May, Tracy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Book Guild
Published: 2021-12-17T00:00:00+00:00

21

Laura

As predicted, I got into the house without either of my pathetic parents seeing me. Both of them have their heads shoved so far up their backsides, it would literally take a butler in the buff, serving drinks in their living room, for them to notice that something was amiss.

I’m now in bed in my comfy PJs. I scrubbed myself raw in a scalding hot shower as soon as I got in. I wanted to wash every last trace of tonight off of me. More specifically, every last trace of them off of me. I felt so dirty. I’m used to feeling dirty in my head, like I’m no good, but feeling dirty on my skin is a new experience for me. Mr Tom is curled around my head, which is both annoying and comforting. Annoying because every time I try to turn to get more comfortable, he taps my face, as if to say, ‘What do you think you are doing, wench?’

My mind is whirling. I’m trying to make sense of how everything went so horribly wrong tonight. I had it all planned out. It was going to be perfect. Sean was going to tell me how beautiful I looked; I shudder at the thought of him groping me. I mean, who does he think he is to just touch me like that, in his own house, where he lives with his wife and daughter? I shake my head in disbelief that I had got him so wrong. The memory of him slobbering all over me literally turns my stomach. I feel like a complete idiot to have been so taken in by him.

And just when I thought the evening couldn’t possibly get any worse, Jess turns up, looking stunning. Stealing my thunder or what. In the grand scheme of things, that seems so pathetically trivial now. And yes, I’m well aware that it was my own insecurity that had me knocking back the shots to build my confidence and make me feel invincible. But, oh my God, what that led to! Of all the things I have done in my life, and I have done some pretty shocking things, this takes the prize. I know I led Lewis on. I mean, how could I possibly have said no to him when he knows I’m the local bike; I have literally slept with half the boys in our year, but I have never felt so used and worthless in my life as I did tonight. And then, when that other boy came in; I wince at the memory. His smug face looking down at me as if I was nothing but an object to be used and discarded. I know I should have pushed him away. I should have screamed or bit him or something, but no; I lay there, closed my eyes and pretended it wasn’t happening. It was like an out-of-body experience, as if it was all happening to somebody else. I just had no fight left in me.

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